Sunday, 1 April 2007

April Fools' Day...Favorite Jokes

Was asking around friends for their favorite jokes especially
original jokes but it seems that we have been pampered with
emailed jokes going around the internet... recycled, resent,
yes re-blogged a hundred times. And at times, you recognize
hey, this is my original joke, this really happened to me decades
ago and was sharing it to some friends.

I have jokes which never fail to amuse me whenever
I remember them.
And I have jokes which I really share only with some particular
friends, and we know that these jokes have a special bonding
among us like a secret code known only to the anointed in our clique.

Yesterday, my friend Bing forwarded me this email coming
from another hotmail add holder. I have tagged it following the
original title of the subject, Lost in Translation, and I added
jokes from bing.

If you have not received this forward, I would like to share them
with you as especial posting for today, April 1, April Fool's Day.
And if you know the original source of this collection, please do let me know.
Enjoy them! ( The jokes, I mean.)

In a hotel in Chiangmai:
Key Must Drop at Front Desk
Check out Time: 12:AM

In a Tokyo Hotel:
It is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person
to do such thing is please not to read notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret
that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do no enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours
of 9 and 11. am daily.

In a Yugolavian hotel:
The flattening of undewear with pleasure is the job of the

In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian
Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose
in the boots of ascension.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef
rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for Street Walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will
execute customers in strict rotation.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site
that people of different sex, for instance, men and women,
live together in one tent unless they are married with each
other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedrooms, it is suggested that the lobby
be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon
having a good time.

In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream.

In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed
as a man.

In a Copenhagen air line ticket office:
We take your bags and send then in all directions.

On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are not requested not to have children in the bar.

In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are
best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel
air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm
in your room, please control yourself.

From a broschure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn.
Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles
your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American..."

Finally, in the Philippines...
"Don't English us...we're not schooling anymore...'

(Thanks to Bing and Akosiida)

No comments: